I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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