Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize