id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
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would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
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I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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