You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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