saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize