we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize