in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize