So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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