Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize