please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize