My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
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