It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize