It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Randomize