I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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