I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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