I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
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If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
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I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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