Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I love you. Go after that dick
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize