oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize