lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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