you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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