he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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