You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
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When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
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