Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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