Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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