i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
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You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
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Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
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