just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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