There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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