she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
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I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
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You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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