Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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