I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize