We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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