You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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