He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
The best revenge is premature balding
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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