what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
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Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
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Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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