i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I AM VODKA MAN
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize