I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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