sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Mom said you looked used
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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