I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
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Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
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My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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