Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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