so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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