You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize