Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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