she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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