ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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