What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize