Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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