Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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