we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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