I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
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Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
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I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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