I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize